The Life and Times of Charlie (a.k.a. Furballs)

This is a blog about looking exceptionally gorgeous, mousing, fishing, licking oneself and ranting about my owner. If that doesn't interest you, go somewhere else. My owner (a.k.a. SHE or TCM (the cat's mother - "who's 'she', the cat's mother?" get it? no neither did she) may occasionally amuse us (ahem) with her own tales of my activities when SHE thinks she can tell the story better. Oh well we have to patronise these humans....

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Fuel shortage

Major crisis on Sunday morning - TCM ran out of my food....completely! You may or may not know, blog readers, that TCM used to get me big bags of food from the vet which she claims was good for me and I thought was like chewing cardboard but hey, it was food and it didn't usually run out. Recently however, for various logistical reasons, she has taken to buying me food from the supermarket, the cat food equivalent of swapping health food for junk food I should think and certainly more tasty. Not sure what it's doing for my joints, immune system or whatever else these fancy foods are supposed to work on but I enjoy it :-) But it comes in these piddly little boxes and TCM is really too scatty to be expected to remember to replenish the stocks when they run low.

Fortunately she felt very guilty and opened a tin of tuna for me which went a small way towards me forgiving her...maybe. So that was the big drama this morning. Spent the day enjoying the late autumn sunshine and playing with Samuel. Note to self: must put a pic of Sammy boy up on this blog at some point. There's a strong smell of woodsmoke in the air at the moment and it makes his fur smell lovely.

So a fairly quiet weekend one way and another apart from the food crisis. This evening was a little blighted by TCM deciding to put on some soppy music and singing along. My first thought was to try and find the poor distressed cat that she must have trapped under a heavy object but no, it was just her warbling. Then, to make matters worse, she started bouncing around (I think she calls it dancing) which is most disconcerting when you are trying to lick a particularly awkward part of your back. I tried various ruses - withering looks, paws over my ears, miaowing.....nothing stopped her. In the end I went back out to play with Samuel. Well there's only so much human foolishness a cat can take. Especially when said human has committed THE cardinal sin. Doesn't she read my blog??

Saturday, October 01, 2005


Well folks, as always I've been too busy to blog lately but a work colleague and friend of TCM's sent her this and I just had to share it with you:

Spot on, I say. Dogs are sycophantic creatures at the best of times! I'd say a***-licking rather than 'sycophantic' for the less erudite amongst you but of course that is one habit that we do share with dogs ;-) Please note the three asterisks, American blog readers - an ass is a creature rather like a donkey.

Right, now that we've got that out of the way, I think I'll continue with my earlier theme of educating humans in the ways of the feline. Today the subject is priorities... or should I just say FOOD because in reality they are one and the same. And that is my point. TCM take note: if there's one thing we expect from you humans it is that our food bowls are kept filled to a reasonable level. Not that we're fussy, but we do expect you to get this right. Too full and the food loses its freshness, too little and we can't invite our friends in for dinner without losing face. You may worry about whether the house is clean and tidy when you have visitors but for us cats the main indication of social status is that we are well-fed and with food of a decent quality. So, just to be clear: if I can see my face reflected in the bottom of the dish, it needs filling up!

Nothing much else to report. Not been doing much hunting and gathering lately as the wildlife around here seems somewhat depleted of late - not sure how that happened ;-) Perhaps they'll restock that pond sometime soon......

Time for a snooze, now. Laters.....

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Hard at work

Just thought I'd share some photos TCM took of me hard at work on my blog....

I'm not sleeping, honest...

I'm sure there's a mouse back here.... somewhere....

Hitting the CAPSLOCK, ready to vent my spleen...

Having a well earned tickle break...

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Good smell, bad smell

Not much to say today but I thought I'd say a little something about my likes and dislikes, particularly smells.

Now as you know smells are very important to cats. When my friend Samuel and I greet each other we sniff each other's bottoms and touch noses. But humans are strange creatures and have a very different idea of what makes a good smell. Not cats' bottoms for starters I don't suppose. More fool them.

So let's see - I like the smell of fish, meat, kitty bottoms, fresh earth. TCM likes the smell of perfume, soap, flowers.... Sometimes she tries to stroke me when she's just put that muck on her face. I mean eeeuuuuw! And she complains when I turn around and put my bum in her face?! Humans!

You may be wondering why I haven't mentioned catnip. Now some of my fellow felines got completely, well, mad for it. Not me. Never got it myself. But TCM has these teabags and just thinking about them makes me drool. Apparently they are made from a herb from Valerian. Well whatever it's called, bring it on! And humans? Apparently this Valerian thing is meant to make them calm, relaxed and sleepy. As our transatlantic cousins would say, go figure!

Bye for now kitty cats x

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Feline superiority

Postmaster P. says I should blog more. I probably should, I suppose, just to keep my many fans happy lol. But the truth is, when you're a cat there are so many other things to do it's hard to find the time. That and the fact that TCM (who is my blogging assistant) has been off gallivanting when she should be entertaining *me*.

So what have I been up to? Well, I found a new impossible-looking position to sleep in recently which was an achievement. The weather's turned a little chillier here in London - perhaps Autumn is finally on its way - so I've been cuddling up to TCM more of a night which she seems to quite like until her leg falls asleep :-)

Just to prove I'm not an entirely insular creature, I thought I'd add a little something about the current situation in the Southern United States. Another feline blogger (I'm sorry mate I forgot to bookmark your blog) drew our attention to this little article from the Houston Chronicle
It's good to know that it's not just the British who are sentimental about animal welfare. I draw your attention to the comment about cats v. dogs:

"Most of what we've seen are dogs. The dogs come out and look for assistance. Cats are kind of survivors. In the coming weeks we'll start to see the cats. They're probably in a lot of attics."

Well put! As all sensible creatures know, we cats have a way of surviving any situation.

Talking of feline superiority, Lame Duck made some comment about me not being a 'taking over mankind' sort of cat. Just to set the record straight, I am more than capable of doing so but have more important things to do. In any case, I have one specimen of femalekind completely subjugated to my control and frankly that's a full time job. If you think about it, LD, I bet you know quite a few other female humans who are similarly controlled and if you have control of the female humans..... Think about you would say - job's a good un ;-)

Gosh, just talking about world domination is enough to make a cat hungry! I'm off for a snack. Later....

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Fan mail!

Well, dear readers, I've had complaints that I haven't been blogging and admittedly it's true. Not that I haven't been busy doing blogworthy things but it's just been far too nice weather to stay indoors poring (or should that be pawing) over a computer. Anway, I'm here now so quit complaining will ya!

Right, on to important stuff. I have had a comment on my blog from a rather gorgeous creature in Seattle! Yes, really! That's Postmaster P. to you and I've added his blog to My Links for you to enjoy. There's a rather cute picture of him as a teeny weeny kitten which I'm sure he's very embarassed about now that he's a big tough cat (ha, ha - who are you kidding Post!). On a more serious note, I sadly don't have any pics of me as a tiny kitty because TCM only adopted me when I was about 3 and before that I was a rough tough street kitty in Hackney or somewhere. I'm not sure exactly, I think I lost my memory when they chopped off my knackers - ouch! Oooh, painful memories, let's not dwell....

Changing the subject completely I read recently about a very silly human invention. It's a program called PawSense and it claims to *train* cats! I mean really! Who thought of putting train and cats in the same sentence. TCM and I were highly amused by this concept particularly as the invention is designed to prevent cats from walking on keyboards which I must say is a favourite pastime of mine. It's particularly entertaining if TCM is trying to conduct a serious conversation (smirk!) on Messenger and I say 93ujhigoreqt43qoi to whoever she's boring on the other end. Hours of endless fun! Sometimes the silly humans even talk back. Anyway, I digress. To read all about this foolish program, visit Incidentally, TCM played the two 'annoying' sounds used for 'sonic training' of cats to me and my reaction was....well I was licking my leg so I carried on licking my leg of course. Perhaps we should invent a sonic training program for humans. We could play them the sound of nails on a blackboard whenever they tried to feed us *light* cat food. Hmmmm.....

Later, kitties!

Monday, June 06, 2005

Eating habits

Well kittens, it's been a few days since my last bloglet. Of course I've been very busy as you can imagine. Today, for example, playing tag with my mate. He needs a name blog readers - any thoughts?

Anyway, I promised you something on.... FOOD! Yes, that's right - the main influence in my life. Unfortunately most of the time all I get to eat is Hill's Tuna Light - not, I can assure you humans reading, an inspiring meal. But today TCM gave me some organic beef mince to savour and it was deeelish - I had it tres bleu naturellement!

Still on the subject of food (and with the memory of my tasty morsel fresh on my chops), that canine fellow who's been cluttering up my garden with his mangy presence has gone one step further and brought his take-away with him. Yes, really. He left a KFC box and some greasy bits of paper strewn all over the place. Finger licking yuck! Hope the Colonel isn't listening - he might put me in one of his burgers.

Oh, here's TCM with an ear tickle for me - gotta dash!